Recently I was flipping through a recent issue of Glamour and I saw an article titled “Why Men Love Porn by Jake” written by a consistent male writer. Even though there were a few things that upset me, I, surprisingly, appreciate Jake’s article for expressing the deal with guys and their consistent flux of porn. A lot of girls get offended or take it personal when they find out their boyfriend or “significant other” has a rather huge collection of porn and playboy magazines. In some cases, the girl even starts to compare herself to the porn star on the screen or the topless girl on the page. That moment of insecurity puts the girl at risk for an argument with herself of whether she is even attractive enough for her boyfriend or for anyone at all.
The thing is except for amateur porn, most of what is on screen is actually acting. Jake himself says: “We know we’re looking at actors whose tanning, depilating and cosmetic surgery regimens are extreme. When I’m with a woman, I want to touch her skin, look in her eyes and, yes, even feel some hair. No one wants to be with a faker, and at some point, all that stuff is faking.” He made sure to clarify the difference between a “lithe, top-heavy, super-orgasmic bombshell” and “soft, sexy real women.”
There were a few things that bothered me of the article. For example he stated that porn can be an opportunity to connect with the significant other. One of his friends that he uses as a reference is quoted saying, “’Watching together can be a way of conveying your fantasies without having to have that awkward conversation.’”
Sure it could be another way to connect in a private moment but at the same time, it could be another way of losing communication in a relationship. There are certain awkward conversations that should happen between two people in order to establish that they both are willing to go the mile, and trust each other to communicate to the other whatever concern or suggestion they think could fit both.
But at least Jake made sure to explain that guys aren’t all sex fiends: “Like you, we crave connection and caring alongside our crazy sex, but now and then we simply want a quick release, and we may get it from the gross, dumb but somehow arousing stuff that we relied on before we found you. It’s separate from the relationship and in no way equal. The thinking, feeling, warm, soft, sexy real women in our lives are just that: real. And there’s not a glowing screen in the world that comes close.”
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